My Iron Man forever

My dad was a man who never cried. Till he was alive, I never saw a single tear roll down his cheek. There was that one summer when I thought it would happen. He jammed his thumb in the car door and I was certain that tears would come. The wound turned blackish blue and purple and his finger flopped, he trembled, he winced but not a tear fell.

There were other times that I expected it, like my grandmums funeral, or when my mum fell ill and he drank that extra glass of whiskey. Each time his eyes turned a bit glassy ...

BUT HE NEVER CRIED.. 

I wondered if he cried in secret or perhaps when we were asleep. Because surely all men cried when they were little. When do the tears dry up ? When do they stop ? 

No kid who cries will become strong he said. Broken horses do as they're taught.

My dad reminded me each day that he was invincible, because he had great inner strength. He used to hold my little finger in his hand and challenge me to thumb wrestle (he always won).. he knew how to cook, he knew how to play the guitar when my mom was angry.. and he taught me all that he knew. 

He taught me to be strong, but I wish he'd also taught me to live without him. Not a single tear fell when I saw him burn, I wish he'd taught me how to cry.

My Iron Man Forever...

I miss u appa, all day, every day !

Love you 3000 ❤️

Priya